Sunday, January 29, 2012

What if . . .

What if . . . a fundamental question. That question we all have to deal with, but typically avoid. What if I have this major surgery Wednesday and the worst possible scenario happens, and I die?

BFD. We all do, sooner or later.

As a person that deals with anxiety every day, I generally can see all possible outcomes. I just tend to be more obsessed about the worst case, the negative outcomes.

I do not have to worry that much about positive outcomes. So, a wise person should always have a plan, just in case the worst happens. Like dying.

So, if I do not die Wednesday, then at some point, not certain when, I can write about surviving my surgery. Plus I can be grateful to my neurosurgeon and staff for not killing me.

Finally, I can also be grateful that if this gig works, I will not be in so much pain. Naturally, I should not be so pessimistic and such an overly sensitive drama king here. But hey, I am a writer and that is just the way most of us are-we tend to be way too sensitive and far too passionate drama kings.

First, I have been a very fortunate person. I have and can love. Even all humanity if we try hard enough; although it is hard to love those things called scumbag lawyers.

Further, there are some things I do not have to love-for example, Bank of America-this entity really sucks. I can also detest entities that rely on voice response units requiring me to figure out some magic code to get to another human being.

Second, I can and do recieve in return, love from others. Sadly, it is just hard for me to see it.

Third, God and Jesus love me because I have been doing their work for a long time.

Fourth, I have done my very best and worked hard to help many. Therefore, I am and have been a good person having provided benefit to others in my own life. I have value to others. I have good values, morals and character traits sufficient to have helped many.

Fifth, most lawyers are scumbags. Not to be redundant or pendantic. Most everyone including lawyers know this.

Sixth, I need to prepare a list for those people that are the most important to me; just in case the worst happens and I do die Wednesday, Feb. 1.

Seventh, when I leave, someone will take over. What me worry? I will be dead.

Finally, I am ready for death. Love is my most fundamental passion. I am loved by others and I have in return given my love away. I have been a very fortunate person. I have not been very good at gratitude. So thanks to those that have earned it.

Going positive, hopefully, I will write about stuff later here on this blog at some point, post-surgery provided I am not dead. Ah, screw it.

Even if I am dead, I am going to keep writing. I am going to do a lot of writing and complaining about how we can make things better even in heaven.

God, I know you are listening.


No comments:

Post a Comment

Anyone that would like to post solutions to make America a better nation as a guest blog author; or has solutions to fix some of the problems in America, send me an essay to Also known as Thomas E. Scherer, your better candidate for United States Congress

Merely remember if I am elected to Congress, you the individual are my boss. PACS, Lobbyists and Special Interest Groups, sorry, but just go away. Americans are tired of the United PACS of America buying and corrupting our congressman and Senators. Our candidate is not for sale.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.