Saturday, February 13, 2010

Campaign Theme Songs: Top 25 songs

Ok.  Following below, subject to edit, just for fun are the best political theme songs I can think up right now.

Naturally, running for United States Congress, it is pretty hard to merely list 25, much less give an order to. So, stand by because I am certain this list will have to be edited, depending on what I hear on the radio on any given day.

No. 25, Money for Nothing, chicks are free, I want my MTV by Huey Lewis and the rest of the liberal, extremely biased News media.  This song reminds of all these yahoo politicans whom think money for nothing is their motto.  Problem is, it is real money and it belongs to us.  Ok, correction.  This was by Dire Straights.  Not the liberal, extremely liberal CNN run by Commie Jane Fonda. My error. 

No. 24, Neil Young.  Old man, I am a lot like you were.  Because this song makes me think about my son and my own father.  Merely remember, I am in the middle of these two individuals on a chronological order based on age-something we call generation.  Naturally, family is the most important thing in life.   In the final analysis,  that is one thing that always is with us.  Our family.  Especially around X-Mas. 

No. 23,  Y-M-C-A.  Cheap pandering to the GLBT crowd for their vote.  Particularily since they should be afforded equal protection of the law.  Further, because most of us can remember the letters of this song and even further, easily dance to this tune.

No. 22, Theme music from Jaws.  Because this song warns us to be careful whenever swimming around a bunch of sharks, also known in courts of law as attorneys and judges.

No. 21, Judy Garland, Wiz of Oz movie, Somewhere, over the rainbow. Naturally, sometimes in Kansas, some of them thar other folks like our former GOV Kate, make that rainbow real close to the Twilight Zone; or way past it clear to some other unknown universe. Finally, because after all, I am a native Kansan; as well as refer to myself being the Wizard of Oz.

No. 20, Too Sexy for My Shirt, probably by Billy Idol?  Another cheap pander for the gay vote. And because this song is hilarious.

No. 19, Jimi Hendrix, Star Spangled Banner.  Why?  Well, if you don't like this great album, you must be a commie or not an American.

No. 18, Pink Floyd, Dark Side of the Moon and Another Brick in the Wall.  Why?  Why not?

No. 17, Anything by Ozzie, he is the Ironman and the ruler of the known and unknown universe; as well as Master of Reality. Speaking of Master of Reality, maybe we could use one up there in Washington.

No. 16, Blues music by Pat Matheny, because he is cool despite living in Lee's Summit MO.  However, his fusion stuff makes me want to get off the elevator. A couple of years ago, I was at Eureka Springs for the Blues Festival.  Anyway, Glenn Seever and myself were looking for some good blues.  We go to this pizza joint. 

An afternoon jam session was going on. The musician was really quite gracious and thanked me for telling him he was a pretty good guitarist.  Later, after I returned to Kansas City, I found out this pretty good guitar player had won 17 Emmy awards and played all over the world.  So, despite this blantant honesty, others all over the world agree with Scherer, the best candidate for United States Congress.  Honest, true story!

No. 15, Carol King, Tapestry Album, especially I look like a natural woman, which meant I had to figure out what that was.

No. 14, Cat Stevens stuff, like his great album Tea and the Tillerman.  Why, because he is cool

No. 13, Music by Bo Diddley. Or any other great blues guitarist that can play like him. Like Carlos Santana or Stevie Ray Vaughn. Which reminds me, might as well crank up the amp and listen to Stevie some more. 

No. 12, Your favorite song and artist, pandering to everyone that does not like my songs.  (Cheap political trick, emulating Moore rhetoric pandering to every voter that exists in the 3rd District). 

No. 11, Lynard Skynard, Free Bird, one of the coolest songs I ever heard for the first time at Arrowhead Stadium live, 1976.

No. 10, Crosby, Stills and Nash, Four Dead at Ohio.  Because we do not want to forget this song which contributed a lot to finally getting us out of Viet Nam. Now if we can only get a song to get us out of Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Europe and the rest of the world, we would be a lot better off.  Why, because we would not be infringing on their right to their sovereignity.

No. 9,  The Reverend Al Green, one of the classic albums ever made.  Call me, Al.  I could use your help this election cycle.

No. 8, Retiring Congressman Dennis Moore singing Kumbayah playing his classic guitar.  Also, former AG, John Ashcroft signing Where the Eagles Soar.  Which is why we are better off now as a nation now that neither are relevant politically. Nor should we ever again allow these two to ever sing anything again.

No. 7, Roberta Flack, Last Time I Ever Saw Your Face.  I remember the first time I ever heard this song.  I was in Rota, Spain.  I was lonely. I missed my country.  I was depressed.  Not to mention I met one of the most attractive ladies I had ever met on the planet earth and she was kind to me. 

No. 6,  Rod Stewart, Hot Legs and Maggie Mae.  Despite him being from a foreign nation.  Who cares?  This guy can rock us over and over, regardless of his age.

No. 5, Ballad by Dan Leap, guitarist and personal friend of mine.  Leap and I have been campaigning for elected office since 1999.  Besides being my friend, he too has this huge dislike of all these stinking and escalating phoney-baloney taxes big governments keep trying to make us pay for all kinds of ridiculus projects.

No. 4, Ted Neugent, Cat Scratch Fever, Why?  Well, Ted is cool.  Besides, he is the former head dude of the NRA, another cheap political trick to pander to the NRA members. Further, to pander to the cat owners of America, wherever they reside. 

No. 3, God Bless America by Kate Smith

No. 2, Nick and Yoder, singing their same old tune, "Hi, I am a huge corrupt coward."  Because they are.

No. 1. Our national anthem as played and sung by we, the people.

I also like the song, Hammer Time.  Marvin Gaye, "Let's get it (election) on", the Rolling Stones (HonkeyTonk Woman), the Beatles (I am a Walrus, Yellow Submarine, too many to list), Elton John (Rocket Man and Bennie and the Jets), and many other great artists.  But sorry, not in the top 25.  At least until I change my mind. 

tdus, again.

Ok.  Most of us have made a huge list in reverse numerical order.  Like above. 
Only to regret it afterwards, because then you have to change the numbering sequence.
Now if you want to make changes to that list, this is quite difficult to do.  So instead of doing all that crap, I am just going to have an addendum below using negative numbers so I can avoid having to write this thing all over again.

-1. Robert Plant, Addicted to Love.  We know love is the solution to all that ails us, because Michael Jackson's adopted son told us so at the Emmy's.  So we probably should start a 12 step program to deal with all this love addiction we are feeling. 

-2 ZZ Top, how could I have left off ZZ Top and Sharp Dressed Man? Apply head slap to wake up brain for leaving ZZ Top off the list.

-3 Music by Queen. Slightly modified.  Like "Scherer is a champion.  And even better, "Scherer will . . . say it again, Scherer will (boom, boom) rock you" and equally other famous songs we are tired of hearing at football games.

-4 Up in Smoke by Cheech and Chong.  I have no clue what the name of the song is, in that movie, but it rules.  Basketball Jones is also one of my personal faves.  Both the record and the movie rule.

-5, The Sounds of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel.  There is a time to listen, understand, have a plan and follow that plan. That plan is called the United States Constitution and if we listen and follow it, we, the people are ensured of having a more perfect union.

-6, Simply Irrestitable by Robert Plant, slightly modified.  Replace the word she with the word Scherer.  Simply irresistable for United States Congress.  LOL. Ligthen up.  Who stated running for Congress, could not be fun.  I am having a great time.  But remember, I am simply irresistable, especially in August 2010 come election time. 

-7, Revolution, No. 9, Hey Jude, Lady Madonna, Back in the USSR, and a bunch of other old school Beatle songs

-8, Some music from the 21st Century like Christina Agulleira, Beyonce (put a ring on it making me go oh, oh, oh, better run away), and some songs by Mariah Carey like Butterfly.

-9, Christopher Walken on SNL demanding more cowbell from Blue Oyster Cult member, Will Ferrell.  It simply does not get much better than more cowbell. The only way this skit could have been funnier, was having Woody Harrelson on bass guitar.

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Anyone that would like to post solutions to make America a better nation as a guest blog author; or has solutions to fix some of the problems in America, send me an essay to Also known as Thomas E. Scherer, your better candidate for United States Congress

Merely remember if I am elected to Congress, you the individual are my boss. PACS, Lobbyists and Special Interest Groups, sorry, but just go away. Americans are tired of the United PACS of America buying and corrupting our congressman and Senators. Our candidate is not for sale.

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