Yet again a 3rd Fable by that Congressional Candidate what's his face: Titled "It's a yuanderful world out here!"

Once upon a time, long, long ago, there was really huge country called Red China about 6000 miles from Florida.  This  country was well  known as Commie land by the rest of the countries.   Now Commie Land had existed since the beginning of time.  Which had to be around 4000 B.C., especially if you are one of those creative scientific creationists hating Charles Darwin and his book on evolution. 

Now in Commie Land, there were a lot of people.  Over a billion.  There were so many Commies in Commie Land, they decided they wanted some more land for their little commies.

Now the king of Commie Land used to be run by King Brokeback.  But he was deposed after causing the entire collaspe of the economy by sending all the money China had to the churches.  So, the people got rid of this corrupt dude and elected a person called Chairman Wow. 

Now Chairman Wow decided that in order to get some more countries, it might be a good idea to industrialze Red China. So breaking from tradition they did.  The old tradition of Red China for centuries had been, what was the rush to industrialize. Before Chairman Wow, the wise leaders of China figured why should the Commies use up all our vast natural resources like most of the other countries? Which kind of made sense. 

Commie Land leaders for centuries figured out that if they did not industrialize and waste all their abundant natural resources, while most of the other countries did, then Red China could take over the world.  It was just a matter of time even Spoke would agree was logical. Along with their buddies in Indai  and Japan.  So instead, they just remained focused on making lots of babies. Way too many babies. 

So after a billion commies, Chairman Wow stated, "now is the time for us to take over the world with a new world order."  So we can send a half billion of our troops to take other people's stuff.  What a brilliant idea.  So Red China merely got clever with their currency called the yuan.  Which had no relation whatsoever to any monetary standard.  So the commies refused to peg their money to anything.

And all the greedy capitalist countries with their insane greed merely got suckered into this new world order scheme of Chairman Wow.  So, to make more money, the rest of the lazy capitalist post-modern industrialized countries decided they would send all their natural resources to Red China. And then buy all the cheap crap that was not important from the Commies. What a stupid plan.  Send all your stuff important to your country, to some other country so in turn, you could buy cheap crap from the cheap labor of a billion Commies. 

Anyway, with no backing to their yaun, the Commie leaders could set their currency to whatever they wanted it to be.  How clever.  So, they took their yuan and bought T-Bills in another country called the Divided States Of America.  That way, whenever the POTUS came to China, he would bow to Chairman Wow in gratitude.  Shortly after bowing, Chairman Wow told the POTUS what he better do, or Chairman Wow would not buy any more t-bills.

Well pretty soon, America was one broke-ass nation because their people really had gotten lazy and wanted the huge central government to pay for everything  they wanted.  And the Americans got so lazy, their infrastructure started to crumble.  Now this did not make Chairman Wow happy. 

So he sent his half billion troops over to America to take over.  And the half billion Commies just stayed.  Naturally they got rid of all the native capitalist and socialist Americans.  And the moral is, history merely repeats itself.  If you want a huge central government to pay for all your crap instead of yourself, Chairman Wow will be glad to buy your T-Bills also with all their yauns.

So every year at Chirstmas time, Mr. Lo Wong Smith would tell his daughter Virginia to not fear the red commies.  Because soon all over the world, it will be a yaunderful world out there.